call me…

😔

This is gonna be rough. Because I know I’ll make it that way. I feel no sense of urgency, regarding getting me out this feeling. I’m gonna do worse. But I’ll do worse for myself if it means you’ll get better. I don’t why I’m like this. I don’t want to be. But I am..

I feel like I’ve made the biggest mistake in my life..

I love you..

Can’t wait to fall in love with you again.. to feel you again. I know its not now. We need our space. We need to be alone cos we’ve always had someone there.. always been in a relationship. I’m going to find a way to be better without you, so I can be even better with you. I hope you’re doing well. I love you.

Part of me is dying.
But a part of me is trying
To see how well I do,  without you
I’m surviving.
Wish I knew, how you are. How you’re feelin,
Though it ain’t seem so.
Everyday before I lay..down to sleep
I still think so..
Often about the times…
when we smiled and it hurts
That we’ve parted hope you started
Making days have its worth..
No more..
I hate yous.
No more.. you do it too.
No more.. doing something wrong
And always blame it on you..
No more fighting no more hassle
No fits no more fuss..
No more this no more than and we’ll no more..
No more us..

I’m hurt though I ain’t show it.
We both are and we know it.

Still i can think about me holding you.
Knowing just how it feels.
Look right by my side
And feel you’re presence
Like your here.
I still go and take a shower
Think of when I wash your back
Pull you closer hold you tighter..
Till our problems dissappear.

Tears streaming down the side of my face
And I let it..
While I in vision that your here
To wipe my tears
Howd I let this..

Shit get outta hand
a million sorrys for my wrongs
I’m doing fine but I’m still hurting
Still I’m trying.. to move on.

I hope through all this shit were about to go through, this journey without eachother. We find strength within ourselves to fix ourselves and be stronger. Fuck I miss you and though I know I should speak for myself. I know you do to. You’re gonna be everywhere I go. My thoughts still has a batch of memories I go through every so often. I’m doing good. I hope to do better. And I wish the same for you. I know if we happen to cross paths again things will never be the same. I know that things may happen that may make you hate me.. things may happen where I might hate you. Life has a shit load of things it can throw at us and it’s up to us.. hopefully a stronger..more smarter us can handle it. I fucking love you. I don’t want to throw false hope.. saying well get back.. but I hope if things do turn out for the best for us as a couple. and we get another shot at it. It’ll be pleasure falling in love all over again with you.
 
5:43am>

Life fucking sucks sometimes…